i just felt like sharing this in my blog, idk...so if you did read my latest posts, you know what happened to my application to mara and basically all o' that stuff right. So...the thing is, i actually got accepted to mrsm! Alhamdulillah im so happy right now, i got accepted for their second intake. No words can describe my feelings bcs theyre kinda mixed up, but ill try to put them into words in this post, just to let it all out. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do right ;)

So my friends told me that i could check my application again for the second intake on the mara website, and i went on it just to see that i got accepted to mrsm taiping! How wonderful...? Now why did i think like that. At first i was so shocked, then i quickly became proud, and then, i was scared. Hm, theres always a first time to everything right? It's definitely not my first time going to a boarding school but i sort of thought this is gonna be different. Mrsm is totally gonna be different from ssp. I kinda hope it's a good difference. I try not to feel so scared bcs i cant just stay a little girl playing hopscoth for the rest of my life right. At some point, ill have to leave home, and live with someone else independently. Though i might feel very anxious and nervous right now, more on my first day there, i know this is the best for me. Allah planned it all for me, i cant deny that it's the best plan out of all. I can't repeat my mistake when i was in form one, not again. I cant let my parents down and make them worry again. I need to be independent, and start learning how to live independently. God doesnt give you tests that are beyond your limit, and ill always have to remember that. When i leave this place I call home, i need to rememember that im going there, to brighten my future. To study, to make my parents proud. Theres no reason for me to grieve and be sad all the time there, its not going to make anything better. Its okay to cry sometimes, but i dont want to be all depressed and mourn over home there. It's going to be my new second home, and i need to get used to it. I need to....plus, being depressed 24/7 is just going to affect my studies, and i dont want that to happen because mrsm is the only place where i can teach myself some disciplines, and become independent, imo.

Now, ill just need to buy some necessities to go there. I hope ill be okay. I know ill be okay but i just hope ill be more that just okay.