I wrote Lunar approximately a year ago. When i first started to feel distant from Allah, when my life was all filled with meaningless acts, actually, being mindful is easy, once u get the hang of it. once you start and persevere, its easy to stay focused and mindful. it was the deliberate act of not being mindful, that started this downfall for me. that single decision, small yet, i am smaller. what a joke, to be smaller than my bad decision, than my nafs, to have no control over my mind. when ifirst decided to listen to music agin, when i first started to leave the sunnah prayers, when i first started to sleep through tahajjud, when i first started to skip my daily quran, when i first started to make the worldly life an occupier of mind longer than it should have been, shouldnt have been one at all. i am a broken record. i want God to helpme but I cant even help myself. i am weak i am hopeless, i am ungrateful, i am forgetful, i am full- i fill my stomach to the brim, i sleep too much, i talk about others, i put God out of my mind sometimes, i am in a bubble. ive always lived in a bubble, id like to think that id popped out of it once, and it has somehow managed to wrap me back inside. i am not alone in this, that is to say,well, God is always there, and it is through His Mercy that i am not yet lost, no i wouldnt hope so, for the sake of Allah. I need You Yaa Allah Yaa Rabbi Yaa Rahman Yaa Rahim. Yaa Rahman Yaa Rahim </3