macam kerbau, macam robot,

entah, at this point i see no difference, adakah aku ni mudah dipijak, or am i just pushing myself too hard? 

entah lah, at this point, aku malas. malas nak fikir, malas nak lawan, malas nak marah, heck, nak menangis pun tak ada masa

i take a shower, cleanse my tears in the only place no one could hear

i look in the mirror, i try, but a smile just won't do, all i feel is pity

and thats the second tear of the day 

i wasnt expecting today to go the way it went, i mean, what was that pink sky all about? huh, i guess i still dread living, who wouldnt, if the meaning of life was today, but wait,its not, and it will never be today. i guess thats something to look forward to, but i dread, i dread the todays that i can foresee coming. but no, life is not a series of todays (!!!!!!!!)

i make my wudu and start to pray, 

i am just a humble servant, and life is a test itself, i remind myself as i recite al fatihah

'only to You i serve, and only to You i ask for help'

only to You i ask for help...

i start reciting al insyirah, 

with difficulties come ease, 

third tear

i realise how feeble i am, and how human i am

i am a human...

not a robot, not a kerbau

although today sure does make me feel like a kerbau

mungkin ini hanya another ujian, untuk mengingatkan aku pada kesusahan hidup, pada tuhan, 

mungkin ini hanya satu peluang, untuk aku bersabar, kerana tuhan suka pada yang sabar

maka aku akan sabar, i will try

sebab aku mahu tuhan suka pada aku

aku mahu tuhan suka pada aku

maybe one day, when i read this post and remember what it is about

i will think of how dramatic i can be

but right now, i am not dramatic, i am just being human

but i want to be a kind and patient one, one loved by God

and so today, i will smile, i will push through, i will try to be patient,

and so now i grab my kerbau merah thats been chilled in the fridge, and start on my work. or our work. idk, i again, see no difference.