last night i dreamt that i got into heaven, well not the heaven pictured in the quran whatsoever, it was as ordinary as the life i have now—it was an odd dream, i suppose it due to us having watched pengabdi setan 2 before bedtime (which had hellish and religious elements in it, i somehow managed to dream of the opposite of hell though. Heaven. huh)— however i was able to conjure whatever my mind had wished upon, and when i found that out—excited to turn my seemingly normal life around according to whatever wishes i had—realising that i finally made it into heaven, i was hit with relief so profound that i can still remember now how it had felt in that dream. it was undoubtedly the best feeling ive ever felt and i realised just how long id been craving and longing for that feeling, id been longing it forever! since the day i was born! it felt so significant, so huge, so magnificent in its magnitude, having also been the mark of an end of a lifetime of anxiety, of misery, of worries. of course, i was excited, was thinking up of limitless wishes, i wished for a prettier face, a prettier body (amongst the many initial wishes id made in that dream that i can remember of hahah, typical of Atiqah, never seems to be content with her appearance🙂) but first and foremost, the great relief! ah! how at peace my mind was, ive never felt that much peace, the long awaited repose of my mind, i was so happy. so content. so RELIEVED. having felt that in my dream, i really really want to feel it again, this time for real, and for eternity. the long anticipated shower of relief, followed by everlasting contentment, repose, and peace of mind. yes ive always known that id longed for peace of mind, but now ive also realised what else— its relief.