When I was twelve, I got 5 A's in UPSR. The teachers at my school were always talking and suggesting great, elite schools where we could consider applying for. One of the schools was, of course, Sekolah Seri Puteri, an all-girls SBP. My dad also told me to apply for that school and so I did, reluctantly, with this mindset that I wouldn't be accepted to it. Pshh, it's an elite school, there is no way I would get into that school, so whatever......or so I thought. I had a few reasons for not wanting to go there but I didn't really worry applying for it as I thought I wasn't going to get accepted into that school. But I did, I was accepted, my application was a success. One thing I knew, I was wrong, I underestimated myself. Oh, and I also knew how much I hated it, the fact that I was accepted to that school.

When I was 17, I remember struggling really hard through the year as it was my SPM year. I remember thinking as I looked at the faces of those seniors of mine who made it with flying colours in their SPM - 'Wow. They're amazing. How did they do that? What can I do to be able to achieve those A+'s?' I wasn't upset or anything, I just thought I knew that that kind of results was impossible for me. I'd never gotten exam results as good as those. NEVER. And God knows how much I'd tried on each exam. God knows how much I'd ended up crying everytime the exam was around the corner and I felt like I hadn't done enough. I just vowed to do my best, my very best, to give it all i've got and pray for the best. I never expected astounding results but Alhamdulillah I got excellent results (biarlah rahsia)

There was this one time when the Petronas Education Sponsorship Programme team came to my school to give a talk about their, well, sponsorship programme. I was one of the chosen ones to join the talk given. I remember that this one lady had talked about the criteria they were searching for in their scholars. Of course, they would want people who have good academic results but everybody knows that. So she mentioned about having great extra co-curricular achievements which I didn't really possess, to be honest. I remember her mentioning that they were searching for students who eg: participate in debate clubs, are a part of the student council, participate in public speaking, and so on. Which none of those things described me. I wasn't active in school and I never really expected, I repeat, NEVER expected to be a petronas scholar. The expectations were too high for me. I'd never reach them. It's not that I didn't believe in myself, but it was just what I would naturally feel considering how active I was in school (WHICH I WAS SO NOT). Anywho, long story short, dont even know how it happened, I am proud to say that I am now a Petronas scholar.

I've doubted myself countless of times, all this time I have always been the kind to just 'shrug everything off'. I didn't really have this spirit to actually prove myself wrong everytime I underestimated myself. I just sort of well, shrugged it off. As long as I did decent, I thought I was okay to go. 'Nah this is impossible for me. Sokay there will be other more accessible choices, ones that suit me, that would actually be possible for me' Wrong. Nothing is impossible. If there is one thing I'd say to my younger self, it's that. Nothing is impossible. If you want it, go get it.

Now, the 'getting it' part is nothing easy either. It's not as simple as it seems but in order to be able to have your foot step forward, in order to build that passion and spirit in you to get what you want, you need to have the correct mindset. And that is to think, to know, to believe that nothing is impossible. Now, I think you know what to do. Give it all you got, I dont think I need to explain more. As simple as it sounds, it goes a long way. There is so much you need to do, but in everything you do, give it all you've got. Just remember to always put your trust in Allah. In the end, He knows best.

I know that from my story, we can pretty much say that I'm a blessed, lucky person. But back to my main point here, nothing is impossible. It wasn't impossible for me as much as I deemed it was. So shoot for the moon because you never know. I did what I thought was enough. But imagine if I tried harder, who would've known? I still believe that where I am now is where I am supposed to be, it's where Allah has planned for me to be. But from now on, all I can do is to believe that nothing is impossible for me, I should strive for what I want, what I think is best for me because I am the one who can decide my future and what I do for it. If Allah wills, everything will go just fine. But if there are bumps along the way, I just have to keep reminding myself to give it all I've got. Those bumps are nothing compared to what's at the end of the road. They are there for a reason we'll never know until we do. Allah's plans are beyond human, sometimes we can't see what's the good in it, what is the 'hikmah'? but there is one, or maybe more than one. Trust Him.