Yesterday was probably my worst day yet. I'm disappointed in the way I acted and I'd never thought I was capable of being such a massive jerk towards my parents. The reason whatever it may be might seem small or trivial, but the way I reacted to it was completely unnecessary and idiotic. Judge me all you want, I know you would. In fact, it would be weird if you don't. Just by thinking about it is enough to make me so angry at myself. I should probably just get straight to the story. So...what happened was...

I wanted tom yum. Dad took us to McDonald's. I felt mad, but slightly got over it when I remembered their ayam goreng is quite good. Still mad tho, cause I wanted nasi. Typical Malaysian. Typical brat. Long story short, ayam goreng habis. Bought burger instead, didn't finish it solely for the purpose of expressing my tantrum. We reached my college a few minutes afterward, I refused to smile, or even hug my parents. Quickly salam'd them and walked away. Dad called my name a few times, probably cause he realized how odd I was acting. I could sense guilt in his voice but I ignored it. I can still remember that scene clearly in my head and that shit breaks me. How could I do that to him? How could I? I just walked away, just like that. All I wanted to do atm was run towards my parents and cry in their arms but what I did instead was walk away, and I didn't even look back. This is so dramatic but that is exactly what happened last night.

The saddest part is, as soon as I got into my room, I received a text from my mum. She apologized. It was the most heartbreaking moment for me because I hurt her, and yet, she still said sorry to me. I still can't get over what happened last night. What I did to my dad, to my mom. The fact that I ignored them when they were probably a little sad that I had to go :/ I feel like such an idiot. An ungrateful brat, that's what I am. I really don't deserve them neither do I deserve to be happy. I was too ashamed to give them a call and apologize so instead, I texted them saying how sorry I was and promised to never repeat the same mistake again.

Yet, my parents didn't even scold me. All my dad said was

And mom, she was so kind to me

She told me to just forget about it, and to never do it again. She lifted me up with her kind words, saying how we humans are bound to make mistakes. There's no running from it. She told me to treat people nicely even if they treat us badly. The fact that she did not scold me and consoled me with her uplifting words, it's just how she's trying to be kind. She taught me to always be kind. It's not easy, but she too is struggling.

Parental love, I think it's a beautiful thing. In this journey where we are all trying to be better people, I really appreciate my parents' unconditional love and support for me. Their actions really inspire to be better. It's hard, but it is worth it. I may feel like I am a worthless person right now, but instead of grieving over it, I should work hard to be better, so that I can make them proud. Not just for my successes but also for who I am as a person. Thank you ma & ayoh. Nothing I do can ever repay you guys for what you have given me. For that, I thank you and I promise to be a better daughter and person. I will work hard for that.

(P/s: I included a link to a song on youtube about a mother's love. I promise it is a good song and will move your heart. Give it a listen :))